Morning perils

Every morning a toddler crawls in between us. The morning commences. While we are still in a comatose state, the little man is alive and kicking!

For him, the day begins as soon as his Kidsleep clock shows the sunshine. He is then also under the impression that we are already jumping next to our bed just as enthusiastically. The opposite is true.

So he is always allowed to watch television while we rub the sleep out of our eyes.

After half an hour it starts to itch. The awake toddler gets busy, starts bouncing and needs to expend his energy. As a result we repeatedly get feet in the face, are bombarded by a ferocious toddler and have to answer pressing questions.

Ok, time to get dressed. This is not without a struggle. Toddler expects us to run after him with his clothes. Preferably all over the second floor while hiding in the closets and behind the curtains.

Quite a task on the early morning. Of course we don’t feel like it. After some grumbling from our side and indignation from toddler’s side, he has already got one sock on. Then we threaten some more, although we know that is totally counterproductive. “If you don’t get dressed, mom and dad go downstairs and you stay upstairs.” “Big deal” you can see him thinking then. After revised forces we’ll try the quiet approach again.

Sitting (or standing) on the bed together and getting dressed quietly. If that happens fast enough, the little man accepts it.

By the way, I try to dress and make up in between as well, with great effort. Such a pity when your toddler is looking tip-top and mom comes, like Mom, after her.

Then they have to brush their teeth. I can see you thinking. That goes pretty smoothly though.

As long as we use the right toothbrush and the right toothpaste. Think orange or blue toothbrush and fluorescent blue pirate toothpaste. Sigh..

After a war of attrition, we can finally go down. Then you think you are there. Nothing could be further from the truth. First of all, sir really can’t walk down the stairs.

His legs are tired or his tank is empty. Really, those are his own words. Some encouraging words from our side further on, we are finally down.

Where there is still breakfast to be had.

Hungry as I am, I try to hold on while I spread a sandwich. Don’t think you can just spread some sausage on it. No, that needs to be discussed first.

If you give a three-year-old something he doesn’t want, it ends up on the floor or in the belly of one of the dogs. After discussion, it turns out that sir would like a melted cheese sandwich. Great. Two quick sandwiches in the microwave and mom is ready.

Some time later we can finally finish the morning ritual.

By now I am ready for a nap on the couch myself. Or sneak a glass of wine.. Unfortunately, I am pregnant and yes it is still way too early.

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